The Morning After
by sexyhunter
Summary: Just some thoughts from Dean's point of view.


Author's Note: I always wonder what's going on in Dean's head, what he's thinking as he gets through his day. This is just a little something that hit me so I went ahead and wrote it down. I want to send a very special thank you to my dear friend Caroline, whose honesty and support I treasure. Thank you, Caroline! Oh, and thanks for the title, you know I'm so bad about coming up with those! :)

* * *

**The Morning After**

Shit. Not again.

I flung my legs over the side of the bed and tried to stand up, but the movement was too sudden so I had to wait, give my head a chance to stop spinning. It would be nice to feel good enough to jump right up and get dressed, but no way in hell was that happening, so I just leaned forward, propped my elbows on my knees and rubbed the tips of my fingers over my eyes. Unfortunately, like every other part of my body, they were hurting too.

I'm sure all the beer I'd had wasn't helping. It never did, but the buzz felt good. Numbed the aches in my body from the fight. Numbed my brain a little, too. Just enough to help keep some of the bullshit out. There's a lot going on these days so last night I drank more than usual. I do everything a lot more than usual now, everything in extreme. Too much booze. Too much food. Too much sex. I figure, why the hell not, right? Go out with a bang. Like Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.

Only this time, it was just Butch. Sundance wasn't coming along for the ride to hell.

I dragged my hands over my face, then down my chest trying to scrub away some of the grime I felt was clinging to every inch of my body. I knew it wasn't doing me any good - that shit wasn't going anywhere. It was part of me. It was part of them. Every demon, every creature, every person whose life I'd touched.

Just the thought made me want to grab a hot shower. I knew it wouldn't matter, the water could never be hot enough; the grime would still be there. But at least the heat would be good for my sore muscles. This last fight felt great. I really got to kick some evil ass cause the spirit was one tough bastard, but it threw me up against the side of the building and damn near broke my spine.

I started to get up again, but there was movement behind me. Right. I wasn't alone. Not really the word to use - alone. That's one thing I always am. Someone can be right there next to me, or like last night right under me, and I still feel like I'm the only person on the face of this damn planet. I don't think anything or anyone can ever change that.

Not even Sammy. But he helps. His being with me, it's the one positive thing I got going in my life.

The shifting in the bed stopped, which was good. I didn't feel like trying to make conversation. I tried to stretch my arms over my head but they didn't want to go too high so I figured I'd better sit a little longer. While my body adjusted to the pain, I glanced around the motel room. Funny, it was the same as the last one I was in. And the one before that. That pretty much went for the girl, too. I had no idea what her name was or what she did for a living. Hell, I couldn't even remember what she looked like. I knew she'd be cute, have a great body, low in IQ and high in SD - sex drive. That was all I ever looked for.

It wasn't all I wanted, but I tried not to think about that too often. Considering who I am and what I do, it's all I'm entitled to. No fairytale ending for this boy. Unless it's a Grimm fairytale. Grim. Yep, that about summed up my life. What was left of it anyway.

And what was left was one year.

With that refreshing thought in mind, I pushed myself off the bed and went in search of my clothes. It was time to get moving. Time to head back to my own rundown motel, wake up Sammy and leave this dirty, depressing town. So we could head for the next rundown motel room in the next dirty, depressing town.

Damn Dean! Starting to sound like some shitty detective novel now. Coffee. I needed coffee. Everything always looks a little better after a cup or two of caffeinated heaven. I dressed, fast and quiet so I wouldn't wake the...blond, I think...and snagged my jacket off the chair and my car keys off the table.

A blast of cold air hit me as I stepped outside and it felt good. Parked in front of the door, the Impala was waiting for me. Steady. Dependable. My home. My baby. When I opened the door, the metal let out that familiar creak I love and when I slid in behind the wheel, I swear she wrapped around me, glad that I was back. I sure as hell was glad as I cranked the engine.

The sun was coming up, a big bright orange ball low in the sky. I slid on my shades, popped in a tape and couldn't help but smile. Yeah, it was just another day, but I guess I couldn't completely beat down the desire to want to enjoy it.

The End


End file.
